I am a second-generation Indian-American woman; a daughter of immigrants who have mostly assimilated to the American way of life but still retained much of their cultural upbringing. I grew up quiet, nonconfrontational and soft-spoken. This was partially a result of my upbringing in my family’s Indian culture and partially as result of being female. On family trips to India, I learned the “appropriate “ way to behave by observing how my cousins conducted themselves, or were taught to conduct themselves. The appropriateness of their behavior was reinforced by watching ’90s-era Bollywood movies with family members. As a woman, it was clear that being confrontational or too aggressive were considered negative traits.

My personality traits were passively reinforced at home—my family didn’t know how to, and didn’t realize they needed to, actively teach me stronger traits such as being forthright, how to stand up for myself or how to exhibit and internalize confidence. In my family, while I had role models in parents who both pursued higher education and held professional-level jobs, there wasn’t anyone—particularly female—who truly showed me the characteristics that I would need to find success in a legal career. Whatever I learned came through my own experience and through mentors. It’s only through stepping out of my cultural comfort zone that I was able to grow and find success as a lawyer.