David Brooks’ 2023 book, “How to Know a Person,” provides not only an interesting read, but insight as to how many of us—attorneys included—fail to listen to our clients, to other professionals, and to others. Technology has arguably impacted our social skills, further undermined by what could have been years of isolation occasioned by COVID. How can we improve our listening skills? As attorney Bill Underwood of Dallas succinctly says: “Talk less. Listen more.” Learn to pause. For loquacious lawyers jaded by years of practice, particularly those who have had the discipline to specialize, how can we revamp, refocus and learn to listen more?

Brooks contends that “our social skills are currently inadequate to the pluralistic societies we are living in.” He argues that in every group, there are “diminishers” and “illuminators.” Diminishers are belittling and mark their territory by using others. For those of us whose practice directly or indirectly involves psychology, not too many days pass without hearing a client characterize a business partner or a spouse as a narcissist.