Some of the strangest moments in the justice system are forever memorialized in the humble police report—like the one filled out by the officers who stopped a woman who identified herself as “Beyonce Knowles” for auto theft in New Mexico this March. To the relief of Beyhive members everywhere, no doubt, it was not the former Destiny’s Child singer of “Single Ladies” fame—just 48-year-old Surena Henry of Las Cruces, who stole a car and then “didn’t feel like pulling over for police,” leading to a chase. Henry, who had an outstanding bench warrant, was booked at the Don Ana County Detention Center, where her true identity was revealed. Couldn’t the police just ask her to sing?

Giving a fake name to police is rarely a good idea, but it’s especially bad when that name is readily recognizable from pop culture. Take, for example, 27-year-old Getro Gelin of Port St. Lucie, Florida. Police investigating an assault complaint involving a weapon that the victim claimed was stashed in Gelin’s SUV confronted Gelin at his home. In the vehicle, the officers found a semiautomatic rifle, a Glock 21 pistol, and a bulletproof vest. When asked for an explanation, Gelin told police that the SUV wasn’t his—he sold it to his cousin, “John Wick.” The police had some understandable doubts about Gelin’s story, given that John Wick is a fictional legendary assassin portrayed by Keanu Reeves in a hugely popular movie franchise. Making Gelin’s story even less credible is that, as any fan of the three “John Wick” films knows, two guns is barely a starter kit for Reeves’ seemingly indestructible character, who boasts a pretty impressive arsenal in the movies. Gelin was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and is being held in the county jail in lieu of bond.