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My grandmother taught me to open doors for ladies, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, distinguish between the salad fork and the entrée fork, and a bunch of other stuff nobody cares about anymore. She showed me where to put my hands when I slow-danced with a girl, and taught me the lady sitting to the right of the host was always served first.

She also taught me to play blackjack and stud poker FN:1, and she knew more about wrestling and roller derby than any two men I’ve met since. I’m not sure whether she was reunited with her husband in heaven, but if Nicky Bockwinkel and Ralphy Valladares—her favorite wrestler and roller-skater—were there, I’m sure Grandma looked them up.

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