The first time I went to court was on a Tuesday after Labor Day, in 1984. Law school had not prepared me for the lawyers’ cheek to cheek kissing, the schmoozing, the gentle back slapping, the “How’s the wife and kids” and the smatterings of Yiddish. Was I in court or at a bar mitzvah? These Nassau County matrimonial lawyers all seemed to know each other and to get along. How could they be adversaries, too?

It didn’t take me long to realize that while we were all zealous advocates for our clients, years of interaction between counsel had also forged relationships that transcended particular cases. Some of these Nassau County lawyers served on Bar committees together, others knew one another from being adversaries again and again. Lawyers who had not seen each other in months, even years, would catch up outside the courtroom. Human nature dictated that we not only spoke to each other about our cases, but about our own lives, too. And there was gossip. Who was leaving which firm? What judge was leaving the bench and who was coming in? Who was retiring?

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