NOW WHEREFORE, in consideration of Very Big Law Firm (“Law Firm”), acting by and through its equity partners (“Partners”), providing goat cheese, zinfandel and enough sushi to wipe out every tuna in the Pacific, I, [your name] (“Summer Associate”), being over 21 years of age, do hereby release Law Firm, its employees, officers, agents and recruiting representatives from any and all causes of action, claims, demands and liabilities of any kind whatsoever, arising directly or indirectly from personal injury or other bodily damage that I may suffer, now or in the future, either known or unknown, as a direct or an indirect result of my employment at Law Firm this summer. This Release includes, but is not limited to, all claims arising out of or related to breach of promise, breach of fiduciary duty, breach of duty of loyalty, misrepresentation, emotional distress, assault, torture and any and all acts brought on by irrationality, unreasonableness and six days without sleep.
I FURTHER AGREE that neither I, nor any person or other entity acting in concert with me, will claim, charge or file any action for damages or other relief (including injunctive, declaratory and monetary relief) against Law Firm arising, either directly or indirectly, from my actions and activities at Law Firm this summer. In connection thereto, I agree to indemnify and hold harmless Law Firm, its employees, officers, agents and recruiting representatives from repeated and shameless attempts to capitalize on my youth, insecurity and sexual na�vet�, including but not limited to, the use of the Bates stamper as a feeble attempt at foreplay.
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