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“I even take the position that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged.” � � � —The Harvard Crimson, misquoting a fanciful point made by Justice Antonin Scalia in a speech at Harvard on Sept. 28. The misquote spread like wildfire in the global media before the Crimson corrected it. “Swidler’s a big enough bite that you could choke on it.” ��� — Altman Weil’s Ward Bower, on Orrick’s flirtations with Swidler Berlin. “Maybe if you’re Kobe Bryant, you can afford to do this, but if you’re Torri Edwards, you can’t.” ��� — Emanuel Hudson, the agent for U.S. sprinter Torri Edwards, about the cost of litigating the decision to ban her from the 2004 Olympics. “I think the key thing to remember with all these clients is that they are annoying, but that the annoying losers are the only ones which have this kind of money and part with it so quickly.” ��� — Former Greenberg Traurig lobbyist Jack Abramoff, in a 2003 e-mail to PR executive Michael Scanlon disclosed earlier this year. “When someone comes in and says, ‘I was the assistant secretary of yiggedy-yag. Can I have a job?’ They’re not going to just hand it to him.” ��� — Aerospace Industries Association President John Douglass, on hiring practices of defense contractors in the wake of the Boeing contracting scandal. “Well, today is sort of like a battery acid enema.” ��� — Donna Taylor-Kolis, the Kerry campaign’s chief legal counsel in Cuyahoga County, Ohio, the day before the presidential election. “We approach the drug problem in many different ways. We target suppliers, we target users, we target education so that we help people make the right choices. I think the same approach is going to be needed in IP theft.” ��� — David Israelite, deputy chief of staff to Attorney General John Ashcroft, comparing file-sharing to illicit drug trafficking. “How can you have people serving as deciders of law and fact who don’t understand basic legal vocabulary?” ��� — Deborah Pearlstein of Human Rights First, criticizing the Pentagon proceedings at Guant�namo Bay that place laymen on military panels. “They believe their best defense is that people don’t know who they are.” ��� — A Supreme Court police officer, explaining why justices have resisted efforts to beef up their off-hours security. Justice David Souter was mugged April 30 while jogging, unguarded, near his D.C. home. “The easiest thing to do would be to just stay put at Covington. I’m too young to begin playing low-risk ball.” ��� — Rainmaker Bobby Burchfield, discussing his move from Covington & Burling to McDermott Will & Emery. “It’s not like the king is dead. The king is going to be part time.” ��� — Unnamed Kirkland & Ellis lawyer, after well-known partner Kenneth Starr announced in April he would remain “of counsel” at the firm while taking over the deanship of Pepperdine University School of Law. “I will go wash his or her car or mow his or her grass.” ��� — An offer made in May by U.S. Rep. Tom Feeney (R-Fla.) to any Supreme Court justice who determines that an act of Congress was dumb or foolish — but upholds it anyway, in deference to legislative power. “We know when we have these kinds of orders what happens. We get the stress test. We get the use of dogs. We get the forced nakedness.” ��� — Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.), criticizing Justice Department legal opinions that he says led to the mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners. “[Comey] has shown insufficient political savvy. The perception is that he has erred too much on the side of neutrality and independence.” ��� — A former Bush administration official, speaking as to why Deputy AG James Comey wasn’t a likely successor to John Ashcroft.

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