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Today the Jews rule the world by proxy.” — Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, former Malaysian Prime Minister It’s good to be the king.” — Mel Brooks, former Hollywood macher The former Prime Minister of Malaysia, Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, recently addressed the leaders of 57 Muslim nations, and informed them that the Jews rule the world. This was disheartening news to his audience, which collectively represented some 1.3 billion people, or more than 100 Muslim subjects per Jewish ruler. Some Muslim leaders may have greeted the news with skepticism. After all, most Jews were kicked out of their countries generations ago. The Jewish communities of the Diaspora, which flourished throughout the Middle East for centuries, are almost extinct. From Casablanca on the Atlantic to Jakarta on the Java Sea, this part of the globe is virtually Jew-free, rendering the dictatorship of the Jews difficult to implement. Jews are forbidden by law from living in Jordan and Saudi Arabia. None live in Lebanon, Libya, Indonesia or Dr. Mohamad’s homeland of Malaysia. There are about 250 Jews living in Syria, 120 in Iraq, and fewer than 100 apiece in Algeria, Egypt, Bahrain and Burma. Most of these remnants are very old, very poor and very out of practice at global rule. There are exactly two Jews in all of Afghanistan. The New York Times interviewed them a few years ago and reported that the two had an argument and are no longer speaking to each other. So each apparently rules on alternate days, like the street cleaners of New York City. Still, Dr. Mohamad is no lunatic. He is the scholarly author of 16 books. In his part of the world, he is considered an intellectual and a moderate. When President Bush castigated him in a personal meeting a few days after his speech, Dr. Mohamad stuck to his guns. He maintained that the world reaction to his speech only confirmed that the Jews “do control the world.” Come to think of it, he may be right. Take the United States.Granted, there has never been a Jewish president. Or a Jewish vice president. True, today there is not a single Jewish member of the cabinet. (There is, however, an Arab-American.) True, the only major party Jewish nominee for the presidency, Barry Goldwater, was actually an Episcopalian. And he lost by the largest margin in American history. And the Jews voted against him overwhelmingly. But setting all that aside, Jews do rule the United States. Only, as Dr. Mohamad observed, they rule covertly. Look at the cunning way they got George W. Bush elected. Without those thousands of Jewish senior citizens in Florida casting their ballots for Pat Buchanan, the country would be gearing up for the re-election campaign of President Al Gore right now. But thanks to the stealthy Jews — whose votes perplexed Buchanan himself — George W. Bush is now in office. It’s not just the United States. As Dr. Mohamad pointed, Jews rule the entire world. Anyone who has spent a day at the United Nations knows this to be true. While the world’s diplomatic corps rises early to work, the Israeli delegates get to sleep in. Columbia Law School visiting professor Anne Bayefsky describes the situation: “One U.N. member is left standing in the halls every morning from 9 to 10 a.m. while all other U.N. members and observers (including the Palestinian Authority) meet in private strategic and information-sharing sessions in each of the five U.N. regional groups. That country is Israel.” The real work at the United Nations gets done on the Security Council. That’s where issues of pressing concern are debated, and that’s where resolutions binding on members are issued. The work is long, difficult and tedious. The Security Council has 15 members: five permanent members and 10 elected by the General Assembly for two-year terms. There are 185 members of the U.N. Only one has a permanent hallway pass, a perpetual excuse note, freeing it from Security Council chores: Israel. Israel has won this distinction by being the only one of the U.N.’s 185 members excluded from the body’s five regional councils. Since 1949, the Arab bloc has blackballed it from the Asian group. Security Council membership, and membership on most U.N. committees, is assigned through the regional councils. And so, regnant Israel sits back and loafs, while the poor Muslim nations, just as Dr. Mohammad observed, do all the grunt work. Fifteen members of the Arab League have had to suffer through tours of duty on the Security Council membership. Egyptian delegates serve on all six of the U.N. human rights treaty bodies. Egypt, Iran, Sudan and the United Arab Emirates must wrestle with the rights of women at the U.N. Commission on the Status of Women. Iran is one of five members on the U.N. Working Group on Arbitrary Detention. Libya, Saudi Arabia and Sudan work on labor standards on the Governing Council of the International Labor Organization. Algeria, Bahrain, Libya, Saudi Arabia, Sudan and Syria are compelled to deliberate over human rights issues at the U.N. Commission on Human Rights. And poor Libya was recently drafted to chair the commission. The fact that none of these Muslim states observes human rights and labor standards at home only highlights the unfairness of forcing them to toil on committees whose subject matter they know nothing about. Israel, one of the few Middle Eastern countries that allow Arab women to vote and workers to organize, should be forced to serve. But the Jews don’t even have to go to the meetings! In fact, they’re not allowed to. Well, that inequitable situation may finally be changing. In May 2000, after 50 years of indolence, Israel was invited to join the Western European and Others Group (WEOG). But if the world expects Israel to finally pitch in and do some real work for a change, they are likely to be disappointed. Israel’s membership is only temporary; every four years it must reapply. And it is allowed to participate in WEOG activities only in New York. Israel is excluded from WEOG consultations at the U.N. offices in Geneva, Nairobi, Rome and Vienna. As a result, Israel cannot participate in — or rather, Israel is excused from having to work on — U.N. talks on human rights and racism. It doesn’t take the astute eye of a Dr. Mahathir Mohamad to detect Jewish ascendancy. Just look at a map. Israel bestrides the Eastern Mediterranean like a Hebrew Colossus. Its population center stretches a good 10 miles, from the beaches of Tel Aviv on the West all the way to � well, to the exits from those beach parking lots on the East. Over half the country’s land mass consists of the Negev Desert, with its vast deposits of sand and rocks. Israel is so blessed with sand and rocks, there is neither room nor need for other natural resources. Its Arab neighbors export oil. Israel imports water. So dominant are the Jews of the Middle East that they have more than 7,800 square miles in which to stretch out. That is a princely realm, practically as large as New Jersey. In contrast, the 22 Arab League countries are crammed into a mere 6 million square miles, barely 10 percent of the land surface of the earth. In that cramped and crowded domain, rendered even less hospitable by the oozing presence of most of the planet’s petroleum reserves, the Muslim wretched of the earth peer over the border into spacious, bountiful Israel. They contemplate Dr. Mohamad’s wisdom, and wonder when they too will finally have a chance to rule. The wiser among them hope: not soon. Contributing Writer Lawrence J. Siskind, of San Francisco’s Harvey Siskind Jacobs, specializes in intellectual property law. He can be contacted at [email protected].

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