The latest scurrilous semi-truth to reach the perma-pricked ears of The Diary emerges this week from intergalactic client-trap DLA Piper, which is apparently home to the most red-bloodedly competitive partner in the City.

As nominated by colleagues, UK regulatory chief Neil Gerrard is the last man in the firm to risk losing face by turning down a challenge. Sources ‘joke’ that Gerrard – who, as a former Met bobby, presumably knows a thing or two about administering actual beatings, not just metaphorical ones – even races his wife getting dressed in the morning.