My dog is a real pain. Whenever I mention the need to take her out for a walk she bounds up to me and sits expectantly, frantically wagging her tail. So I have to use code.

I referred to the D.O.G. for a while. But she soon worked that out. Then I started talking about “taking the you-know-what out for a you-know-what,” but she figured that out as well. Everything I try, she quickly learns. I’m currently on foreign languages, and there is a real chance that at some point my dog will understand me better than my own family.

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