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PRIZE ASSETS: A stranger just told Broward County, Fla., sex-crimes prosecutor Stacey Honowitz that she had beautiful lips. Yet the assistant state’s attorney didn’t mind at all. Glamour magazine will honor her puckers in its February issue as part of a tribute to women who “use their physical assets to help others.” The perfume-scented mag cites Honowitz for using her lips to speak up for justice for rape victims and molested children. She’s also using her hands. A prosecutor for 12 years, she has penned (but not yet published) two couture-free books about the realities of sex abuse. “Use Your Noodle, Like Betsy Boodle” is a set of not-before-bedtime limericks for parents to read to children. The second, “The Sex Police,” explains sex crime and prosecution for parents themselves. Honowitz says that, in her experience, squeamishness causes more problems than it averts. “Half of my cases would disappear if parents told kids that you don’t suck a penis for a cookie,” she explains. DRUG DEAL: On any day of the year, Judge Darryl Larson oversees the cases of 320 nonviolent drug offenders. And on any day of the year, money is about to run out at his Eugene, Ore., drug court. The Lane County Drug Court judge sentences those who plead to rehabilitation. Though the rehab bill comes to a measly $2,000 per offender, that’s a politically tough $500,000 to come by. Enter Marshall Waterman, 54, a legal assistant in the privately run defender’s office who has worked in the court for 10 years. He hatched a newfangled fund-raiser involving an e-commerce cyber-mall called PrimeBuy. The site promised him a quid pro quo: If the court posts a link to the PrimeBuy Web site on its own not-yet-launched site, the marketing company will give it 2 percent to 20 percent of all sales that come through that link. An everybody-wins arrangement, the judge says. The Oregon Attorney General’s Office, however, has decided it’s an illegal pyramid business, based on the information available to it. Larson has asked the attorney general to give an opinion, and at press time the company is discussing its business practices with consumer fraud officials. Larson says he still hopes that the arrangement will hold up and relieve the “never-ending” fund-raising pressure on his and other drug-diversion programs. “There are many things on the Internet that we don’t know yet if they’re legal,” says the judge. “Maybe it’s cutting-edge.” BELIEVING THE TV: Michael Watson walked away from his Panama City, Fla., voting booth, and for that he’s suing ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, CNN, MSNBC, CNBC and Fox News, as well as the Voter News Service. All those networks, Watson says, prematurely announced an Al Gore victory in Florida before polls closed on Nov. 7. He and three neighbors, aided by an activist from the Republican Leadership Coalition, have claimed they were “disenfranchised by the networks.” Sidebar projects that election lawyers will enjoy higher billables in 2001. THE CLERK WROTE THOSE PARTS: The nation knows Florida state judge Terry Lewis best for his Nov. 14 eight-page opinion allowing Florida’s secretary of state to use her discretion on whether to permit a vote recount. Yet, in 1997, Lewis wrote a 336-page thriller, called “Conflict of Interest.” A reviewer at Publisher’s Weekly gave it a thumbs-up, but a critic at mysteryreader.com lamented that the tale about a drunken lawyer named Ted Stevens was “bogged down by slow, painful parts concerning Ted’s problems and unnecessary logistics of a case which could have been much more exciting.” Hey, it’s realistic.

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