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A Syracuse, N.Y., judge has accepted censure as punishment for mocking an assault victim by comparing him to a lying character on Saturday Night Live. The New York Commission on Judicial Conduct said that City Court Judge Karen Uplinger “demeaned and mocked” assault victim Anthony Nushwat in October 2004. “Humor has its place, sometimes even in court. But it isn’t funny for a judge to mock or belittle an assault victim who is making a statement to the court,” said commission administrator Robert Tembeckjian. The commission said the judge compared Nushwat to Pathological Liars Anonymous member Tommy Flanagan, an SNL character created by Jon Lovitz, whose tag line after telling obvious lies was: “Yeah, that’s the ticket!” “I think if you listen to Jon Lovitz, you might get an impression of how I felt when I was listening to this testimony,” Uplinger said in court, according to the commission. As Nushwat read a statement during a sentencing hearing, Uplinger told defendant Artis Bey: “You don’t have to listen to this if you don’t want to.” -Associated Press Head trip The long, strange trip continues for Jerry Garcia’s toilet. Police say the Grateful Dead leader’s commode was stolen recently from a driveway along with three other toilets and a bidet. Garcia’s loo was the subject of a legal battle before it was finally moved to Sonoma, Calif., to await shipment to a Canadian casino. Police have no suspects or leads. Henry Koltys bought Garcia’s Marin County, Calif., home for $1.39 million in 1997 and removed the toilet and other items he planned to sell to raise money for a charity. Last month, Koltys sold the Grateful Dead singer’s toilet for $2,550 to online casino Goldenpalace.com, which planned to use it as a marketing exhibit. Koltys said that the toilet once stood in the master bathroom of Garcia, who died in 1995 at age 53. “It would have been his personal head,” he said.-Associated PressEvil, indeed When Carlos Santana performs “you’ve got to change your evil ways,” he apparently means it. In a wrongful termination suit now in California’s 1st District Court of Appeal, a former personal assistant to the musician and his wife, Deborah, claims the couple made him see a chiropractor identified only as “Dr. Dan” to be tested for his “closeness to God.” Bruce Kuhlman, who was 59 when his papers were filed with the appellate court late last year, claims that Dr. Dan told him that although he had a low enlightenment/consciousness level, that wasn’t unusual “later in life” and promised it could be raised. According to the suit, the Santanas indicated that they might need someone younger in the position. Kuhlman was fired in April 2004 after missing an appointment with Dr. Dan.-The Recorder

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