It's that time of the year again when I don my velvet robe and giant hoop earrings to gaze into the future. Here's what I see in the new year:

Associates will have more freedom than ever. Firms will offer more corporate goodies like unlimited vacations and unlimited parental leave. (Two of the country's hardest-working firms, Quinn Emanuel Urquhart & Sullivan and Susman Godfrey, already do so.) They'll also require less face time in the office. Who cares where you work, how you're doing it or what you look and smell like in the process? Just keep billing at least 2,800 hours a year and you can be as free as a butterfly.

Law firms will offer more lavish perks. Besides picking up your dry-cleaning and buying birthday gifts for your loved ones, firms will extend concierge services to your children and dogs. Yes, they will feed them, potty-train them and kiss them goodnight. (And you thought Latham & Watkins offering free Fed-Ex service for breast milk to nursing lawyer-moms was a big deal!)

Firms will insist on emotional intelligence in associate hiring. Too bad management can't think of a reason why EQ should apply to the partners in their stables.

Firms will brand themselves as thought leaders. Caveat: No one in management has a clue what that means. But, hey, isn't that what those expensive consultants told you to say to distinguish your firm from the pack?

Theories will fly about why women still aren't breaking into the equity partner ranks. Is it because they're too busy having babies (or worried about not having babies)? Is it because they're not pushy enough about client development (or being too pushy)? Are they wearing the wrong clothes, shoes, hairstyles?

Mommy track will still be a dead-end. Despite all the wishing and hoping, women on the mommy track are not going anywhere. That said, we'll hear the occasional story about some lone woman who clawed her way to partnership from a part-time position. It's nice to believe in miracles.

Men and women will not agree about sexual harassment, power, accountability or anything else. Men will continue to think that the system is working well; women, not so much. (Remember, 54 percent of men thought of themselves as “allies” for gender equality, while only 31 percent of women agreed with them, according to an American Bar Association study.) And why shouldn't men think everything is great? I mean, duh, they're doing fine.

Trump University will be reborn as Trump School of Law. Although Trump University was a fail and a fraud, it proved that there are suckers aplenty. So why not sell the Trump J.D. to his beloved “poorly educated”? The degree will be worthless but it'll be a great investment for Trump's friends and family, particularly with Education Secretary Betsy DeVos at the helm. MAGA!

Mike Pence will be the new role model for men. As men get increasingly unnerved by the #MeToo movement, expect the Mike Pence rule to prevail. Yes, that means more men in power will dodge one-on-one meetings or business travel with female colleagues. Expect a more uptight workplace and increased gender segregation on matters.

And yes, it will still be a great time to be a white man in the legal profession and everywhere else. I know you've been worried that clients now demand diverse teams and that the #MeToo era has embolden women to speak out, but chill. I'll go on a limb and predict that white men will still rule Big Law, corporate America and the highest office in the land. Feel better now?

Contact Vivia Chen at [email protected]. On Twitter: @lawcareerist.