Housemates were this week bracing themselves for a stern new regime as lucky ‘golden ticket’ winner David entered the Senior Partner deal-room and immediately vowed that underperforming housemates would be kicked out the back door.
Speaking exclusively to Senior Partner hostess Diarina McCall, he commented: “I make no secret of our aim to be the world’s leading unreality extravaganza and I relish the prospect of leading us closer to this goal. We must be cohesive and motivated, which means everyone doing exactly what I say, to consistently deliver the highest quality bickering, petty rivalries and gratuitous nudity to our audience throughout the world.”
