As The Diary went to press, Sven-Goran Eriksson was still England manager, Wayne Rooney’s right foot was still attached to his leg and our brave World Cup battlers had not yet been eliminated on penalties by an obscure sub-Saharan nation with a population half that of Cumbria.

It is a time of stress for employers as well as fans, however, with a string of billion-pound businesses certain to collapse if so much as a single staff member skives off work to watch the footy.