Oh, to be a thrill-a-minute litigator. The Diary was recently working on a story which involved getting in touch with a senior litigation partner hot on courtroom skills. Having failed to reach him on his landline or mobile, the assiduous hack sent an e-mail. Like a flash, the litigator was on the phone.

“Fuck me, I’m bored – I’m sitting at the back of the courtroom playing with my BlackBerry. It’s like watching paint dry in here,” he said, before launching into a marathon chat to brighten up his afternoon.