Rush Limbaugh clearly chose the wrong words. . . even when he was apologizing.

The big news over the course of the past week has been Limbaugh’s outrageous comments about a Georgetown University law student who had the gall to speak out in favor of Catholic university health plans being required to cover birth control. Limbaugh, in a now-famous rant on his nationally syndicated radio show, called the student, Sandra Fluke, a “slut” and a “prostitute” who wanted the government to pay her to have sex. He also said Fluke was “having sex so frequently that she can’t afford all the birth-control pills that she needs”—showing an utter lack of understanding regarding how birth control works.

He didn’t stop there, though, further stating that, in return for birth control, she should be required to post a tape of herself having sex with multiple partners for all the world to see.

An uproar, quite naturally, ensued. When it was clear he was facing not just outrage but the loss of advertisers, Limbaugh issued a tepid apology, which stated, in part:

For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke. . .

Limbaugh’s weak apology, needless to say, didn’t work. And as is often the case in these high-profile crisis situations, there’s a lesson in all this for corporate America. If you’re in a position where you have to apologize for your behavior. . . do it right.

Because let’s be clear: Limbaugh didn’t choose the wrong words; he chose the wrong thoughts. He was stupid, plain and simple. And if he had just said that, with the candor and conviction he is supposedly known for, the furor might have died down.

But wait, you say—it’s the politicians, liberal pundits, and the media keeping this story alive, stoking the fire for political gain so that any apology by Mr. Limbaugh would never be accepted. Hardly. In fact, from my experience, it was Limbaugh’s weak apology itself that helped keep this story alive.

As I’ve written in past columns, you can apologize in a manner that disarms your adversaries and defuses anger. And a direct, clear message often makes all the difference in ensuring your message resonates with the audiences you are trying to influence. Non-apology apologies (“I’m sorry if the words I chose were taken in a way I did not intend,” and “If I have offended anyone, I am sorry” are two common examples) tend to make things worse, not better, by absolving the apologizer of blame. Public audiences see the hypocrisy of such mealy-mouthed contrition, and the ire grows.

Thus, the three rules of effective apology:

  1. Explain what happened.
  2. Take full responsibility, owning up to your mistakes in a direct, compelling manner.
  3. Explain how you are taking steps to ensure it will not happen again.