The 2,200–page bankruptcy examiner report on Lehman Brothers made such a thud on Bar Talk’s desk that we were reminded of a similar thud, a few years back, made by the Enron Corp. report. Then we saw a rerun of a not-too-recent movie, and it all made sense.

The Bad Guy

Richard Fuld
Lehman Brothers
 The Scheme: Making the company appear financially viable via Repo 105 transaction.

Jeffrey Skilling
Enron
The Scheme: Making the company appear financially viable via special purpose entities.

Dr. Evil
Virtucon
The scheme: “Oh hell, let’s just do what we always wanted to do. Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold he world hostage.”

The Enabler

Simon Firth
Linklaters
Repo 105 is “a sale rather than a charge.”

Max Hendrick
Vinson & Elkins
The deals are “aggressive and creative [but] not inappropriate.”

Number Two
Virtucom
“Don’t you think that we should ask for more than $1 million?”

The Good Guy

Anton Valukas
Jenner & Block
“The benefit to Lehman was twofold: reduction in the balance sheet while allowing Lehman to earn income.

Neal Batson
Alston & Bird
SPE’s “were designed to manipulate Enron’s financial statements,” which were “materially misleading.”

Austin Powers
British Secret Service
“I can’t believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn’t see that coming.”

The Result

To be continued.

V&E denied wrongdoing, but paid a $30 million malpractice claim.

Austin Powers escaped with Elizabeth Hurely.