Aside from cases of abuse or neglect, divorcing parents are usually awarded maximum time with their children. In some cases, one or both parents, and even members of their extended or blended families, attempt to alienate or estrange their children’s affections from the other parent. Such estrangement can sometimes be the result of malice by one of the parents, creating legal implications as well as necessitating psychodynamic interventions. Every family is different. Each one is complex in its own way. Whether alienation or estrangement, acts or omissions that lead to the need for reunification therapy include:
- Children aligning with one parent against the other parent at every front.
- An aligned parent constantly calling and emailing the children during the other parent’s periods of possession, with the intent of creating an appearance that there is something for the children to fear while in the possession of the rejected parent.
- Being consistently negative over a long period of time toward a rejected parent.
- Condoning a child cutting off personal, email or telephonic contact with the rejected parent.
- Empowering young children to make adult decisions, such as giving them permission to criticize, use physical force, or to behave inappropriately when in the rejected parent’s possession.
- Encouraging a child to lie or to keep secrets.
- Engaging in black-and-white thinking in lieu of coming to terms on issues as co-parents should.
- Inability to behave civilly toward the other parent in the children’s presence (phone calls, exchanges of possession, or at shared venues such as the children’s extracurricular activities).
- Spitefully being at cross purposes regarding the children’s education, health and welfare.
Some have lauded and some have lambasted reunification therapy as a process to assist the parent-child relationship be reestablished and rebuilt. The purpose of this article is not to take sides. Rather, it is to investigate what may lead to the need for reunification therapy.
