X

Thank you for sharing!

Your article was successfully shared with the contacts you provided.

A new app funded by conservative interest groups has the potential to streamline our justice system. This app, the Scalia, Thomas, Alito, Roberts, Sometimes Kennedy and Now We’ve Got Neil Gorsuch Know-It-All System, or STAR-SKAN, uses artificial intelligence to distill the views of present and former Republican appointees to the Supreme Court into a handful of algorithms that can be uploaded and stored forever on a computer or iPhone and used to decide any issue touching on constitutional law. No more need for cases to wend their way through the lower courts to focus on specific actions and their effects. No more waiting months for briefing, argument and deliberations in the Supreme Court. The STAR-SKAN algorithms can resolve the knottiest legal questions in seconds—almost as fast as Donald Trump can tweet the answer. As a virtual, rather than flesh-and-blood, Justice, with artificial rather than emotional intelligence, STAR-SKAN avoids the vagaries of individual life events and will preserve the legacy of conservative Justices going all the way back to Roger Taney more reliably than any living Justice could.

Let’s get started with simple and straightforward Algorithm 1: Tap the icon titled Citizens United. Up comes the answer: “Money Talks.” And so it is, no matter what Elena Kagan or Sonia Sotomayor may say. People with lots of money may influence elections and elected officials all they want. People without money must make up for it by travelling many miles in cars they don’t own to purchase identification cards they can’t afford simply in order to vote.

This content has been archived. It is available exclusively through our partner LexisNexis®.

To view this content, please continue to Lexis Advance®.

Not a Lexis Advance® Subscriber? Subscribe Now

Why am I seeing this?

LexisNexis® is now the exclusive third party online distributor of the broad collection of current and archived versions of ALM's legal news publications. LexisNexis® customers will be able to access and use ALM's content by subscribing to the LexisNexis® services via Lexis Advance®. This includes content from the National Law Journal®, The American Lawyer®, Law Technology News®, The New York Law Journal® and Corporate Counsel®, as well as ALM's other newspapers, directories, legal treatises, published and unpublished court opinions, and other sources of legal information.

ALM's content plays a significant role in your work and research, and now through this alliance LexisNexis® will bring you access to an even more comprehensive collection of legal content.

For questions call 1-877-256-2472 or contact us at customercare@alm.com

 

ALM Legal Publication Newsletters

Sign Up Today and Never Miss Another Story.

As part of your digital membership, you can sign up for an unlimited number of a wide range of complimentary newsletters. Visit your My Account page to make your selections. Get the timely legal news and critical analysis you cannot afford to miss. Tailored just for you. In your inbox. Every day.

Copyright © 2018 ALM Media Properties, LLC. All Rights Reserved.