As family mediators, we are often regaled with stories of high conflict divorce cases. “They never could have mediated” is a common refrain we hear from well-meaning friends who share details of protracted divorce litigations and custody battles, each replete with extensive collateral damage, such as a retirement account liquidated to fund a litigation.
In our experience—and contrary to conventional wisdom—cases presenting deeply fraught dynamics and complex fact patterns are routinely resolved in direct negotiations. A shared determination to stay out of court, regardless of what has brought the marriage to its end, often provides a foundation to resolve the issues at hand, regardless of the magnitude of hurt or blame. The parties’ motivation, when utilized skillfully by the mediator in supporting them through the most challenging aspects of their conflict, can help them come to resolution.
