Whether your client is already deep into a mediation process or whether mediation is merely on the menu of process options to resolve a pending dispute, what follows are several concepts to help provide clients effective guidance. These considerations apply across the board regardless of whether you’re working in the context of a multinational company or a family business; an elder care conflict or a disgruntled or disgraced corporate executive. Though the structure of the mediation will be tailored to the particular context, but these tips address the universal:

You Don’t Have to Win Every Point. As mediators, we observe the dynamic of the parties in order to learn their communication patterns. The mediator’s role is to assist in breaking the conflict dynamic, in the hopes of prompting more effective and productive negotiations. Often we see that parties are “stuck” in a version of the fight they’ve likely been having for years. Each pushes the other’s buttons, perhaps even unwittingly. Indeed, often parties are entrenched in roles and characterizations that make the slightest shift in behavior and perception seem impossible—so much so that a compromise accommodating significant interests may be overlooked or even rejected. In the initial meeting with clients, we may inquire whether they think they can agree—in other words, whether any offer, even a good one, will be met reflexively with skepticism and mistrust.