Much as I appreciate legal brawls over hip implants or marine hoses or residential mortgage backed securities, I’ve got one hard-and-fast rule in my hierarchy of coverage: If a lawsuit involves Johnny Depp, I’m going to write about it.

Especially if it involves a legal malpractice claim, $30 million in disputed fees and lawyers from Buckley Sandler and Reed Smith duking it out in court. (Though who are we kidding. If the “Pirates of the Caribbean” star challenged a parking ticket, I’d figure out a way to write about that too.)