It is unlike The Diary to fall into the trap of stereotyping the Scots as parsimonious – but we couldn’t help noticing the size of The Commission for Judicial Appointments’ entertainment spend for 2001-02.

According to the Commission’s annual report, the watchdog, led by a certain Sir Colin Campbell, splurged the princely sum of £31 on entertainment.
Asked what exactly he spent the money on, Sir Colin replied: “I expect it was an expensive bottle
of mineral water.”