Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there existed trial lawyers. Every day these attorneys strode into courtrooms to represent the rights of their clients, demanding justice from a jury of their clients’ peers. They spoke to jurors about their clients’ truth, and the jurors—the conscience of the community—decided the outcome of these matters. And all was fair and just in the world.

But one day, along came the Supreme Court, and the Supreme Court said, there are more expedient ways to resolve conflicts than jury trials: Submit them to an arbitrator; decide them at summary judgment; but whatever you do, do not let a jury trial occur!