Credit: Maron B/Shutterstock.com.
Being married to a lawyer isn’t as bad as nonlawyers might imagine, according to Haggard Law Firm attorney Adam Finkel and Assistant U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Florida Abbie Waxman. “By the time we get home, there’s no desire to argue or prove a point. It also doesn’t hurt that we’ve both met our match,” Finkel said. “With that said, when we do argue, we really need to stop reading back the record and repeating exactly what the other said in order to prove that they were wrong. Especially since Abbie remains undefeated, it’s pointless to argue in the first place! … The one thing we both always agree [on]: hopefully our 4-month-old son, Harrison, picks a different career path!”
Valentine’s Day has an especially poignant meaning for Kelley Kronenberg partners Jessica Marra and Marc Marra in Fort Lauderdale, as it’s the day their daughter Charlotte was born with a rare and serious heart condition: hypoplastic left heart syndrome. “To oversimplify, Charlotte was born with half of a normal heart. We can happily report that Charlotte had her third and final major open-heart surgery in November. Every year since she was born, we take Valentine’s Day off as a family and reflect on how blessed we are,” the couple said. “Having an attorney-spouse means conversations will (on occasion) feel like sitting for cross-examination. But the flip side of that coin is a determined persistence which has allowed us to best advocate for our daughter through life’s challenges.”
When two Cubans from Miami met at the University of Michigan Law School 15 years ago and began bonding over civil procedure flash cards and lamenting the lack of good Cuban food in Michigan, their fate was sealed. After 10 years of marriage, Marcus Bach-Armas, senior director of legal and government affairs for the Miami Dolphins and Hard Rock Stadium, and Lara Bueso Bach, counsel at Weil, Gotshal & Manges, are still debating the rule against perpetuities.
When husband-and-wife litigators Jared H. Beck and Elizabeth Lee Beck of Beck & Lee Trial Lawyers weren’t on Zoom calls during the pandemic, they used the unexpected time at home to expand on their family farm, aka their “side gig.” “What started out as an avocado grove and a handful of ‘backyard chickens’ has grown to include eight sheep, seven goats, and an assortment of turkeys and guinea fowl. And with our prize sow Luna extremely pregnant, a number of potbellied pigs will hopefully be joining the mix soon. All members of our flock provide us with love and companionship (and some even mow the lawn), and that helps us through the unique stresses of practicing law as a couple,” they said. But before you hurry over there, be warned that the farm also includes four angry guard geese that patrol the yard.
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Though Greenspoon Marder partner Dana Somerstein grew up in a family of lawyers and “tried not to marry one,” she said the verdict was in as soon as she met criminal and civil litigator David “Dave” Gillis. They never imagined working from the same small house during the COVID-19 pandemic — one attending court from the kitchen with the other negotiating a portfolio property sale from the home office — but when the COVID-19 pandemic hit they “made it work and had fun in the process,” the couple said. In addition to taking the occasional break for a pre-sunset bike ride or walk around the neighborhood, working from home together also allowed the couple to combine legal forces, as they co-wrote a bill sponsored by Rep. Mike Gottlieb that attempted to promote equity in Florida’s sentencing guidelines. The pair currently serve as Broward County co-chairs for the Innocence Project of Florida’s Stand Up For Innocence event.
When lawyer couples work at the same firm, “the concept of personal space is often blurred,” according to co-founders of Spiritus Law in Coral Gables, Marbet and Rob Lewis. But they say the pros outweigh the cons because “it’s rewarding to be able to share all our stresses and ambitions so intimately since we are going through a lot of work-related highs and lows together. “We’ve also built such a heightened sense of trust because each of us has to make decisions that can largely impact the other’s life, both personally and professionally, like taking on a challenging matter, or when one of us has wanted to switch firms or take on different types of clients,” they said. “We have to be extra considerate of each other’s goals and obligations so we can also maintain some level of work-life balance and turn ‘work mode’ off when we get home (although that really never happens), and be mindful of the types of work and clients we want to develop so our practices continue to integrate well within our firm and team. Overall, it’s worth struggling through the difficulties and sacrifices that can also come with not just being a lawyer couple but also working together,” they said.
The downside of attorney coupledom is that both parties tend to work long hours, according to Eric Bluestein, a partner at Dolan Dobrinsky Rosenblum Bluestein in Miami, and Mariela Malfeld, a Florida Bar board-certified construction lawyer and partner at Watt Tieder's Miami office. But when Bluestein makes it home first, he enjoys basking in solitude, watching movies and shows that Malfeld isn’t interested in. “I get to make popcorn, pour my scotch, put my feet up and there is no need to compromise on what appears on screen,” said Bluestein, who noted that their day jobs don’t actually lead to more fighting or confrontation. “I would say us both being litigators is much more positive than it is negative. I can bounce case ideas off of Mariela, and she can do the same. We can discuss strategy with one another. Also, networking is a huge aspect of both our practices. Mariela and I both feel comfortable going to one another’s events, and Mariela expands her network when she goes to my events and I expand my network when I go to hers. I also think since we are both litigators and both understand how demanding our jobs are, we do not get upset when one of us works late, or has to leave town for a conference. We both want the other to succeed and know succeeding in this field takes effort and time," he said. To that, Malfeld said: “I concur.”
Partnering up with an attorney has its perils, according to Fowler White shareholder and commercial litigator Daniel Milian, who’s known his wife, immigration and family attorney Cristina Lago of the Law Office of Cristina Lago, since he was 15. Before they married, she used to surprise Milian at hearings by covering for colleagues “simply to argue against me,” he said. “The good thing about both of us being lawyers is that we understand what it takes to practice law and we don’t get angry at the long hours and weekends,” Milian said. “We help each other take the kids to school and accommodate our schedules according to pending hearings. It also helps to bounce ideas and strategy off each other, although we try not to talk about our cases outside of work. Best of all, is the joy we get when we hear our oldest daughter tell us she wants to be a lawyer when she grows up. It shows we are doing something right."
As co-managers of Allen Norton & Blue, the temptation to discuss cases and firm issues at home is strong for Susan and Bob Norton. It’s also not easy to arrange for two major partners to go on vacation at the same time. But on the plus side, their relationship is “strongly endorsed” by the other partners. And though Bob manages the firm, everyone says Susan manages him.
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Whether you’re celebrating your relationship, friends, or pampering yourself with bath oils and chocolate this Valentine’s Day, scroll right on the above gallery to discover the joys — and the annoying bits — of partnering with a lawyer.
And remember: anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
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