Attorney Mark Dubois ()
One of the “best practices” these days for websites is the use of a disclaimer to avoid the creation of an attorney-client relationship. Sometimes folks ask me for a form. Here is one that a friend sent:
STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Please read all instructions and warnings before use. Must be 18 years of age or older to proceed further. Enter at your own risk. Do not enter. Speed limit — 28.8 or higher. Stop here on red. Hostess will seat you. Trucks over 4 tons excluded. Void where prohibited by law. Some assembly required. This is a test of the emergency broadcast system — this is ONLY A TEST! List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Use only as directed. For indoor or outdoor use only. Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. We make no other warranties, expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Postage will be paid by addressee. Postal service will not deliver mail without postage. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. May be too intense for some viewers. See other side for additional listings. This product is meant for educational purposes only. For recreational use only. For office use only. For entertainment purposes only.
Only one winner per household. Do not disturb. All models are over 18 years of age. Apply only to infected areas. If condition persists, consult your physician. Take two of these and call me in the morning. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now with new plastic applicator. High altitude directions — increase cook time by 10 minutes. This is not an attorney advertisement or referral service. No user-serviceable parts inside. Website contains small parts and is not intended for use by children under the age of 18.
This compact disc was originally recorded on analog equipment. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Times are approximate. Do not disturb. Simulated picture. Please remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop. Return your seatback and tray table to their normal upright position. Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. In the event of decreased air pressure, oxygen masks will pop out of the top of your monitor.
For off-road use only. Do not block intersection. No trespassing. No stopping or standing. Don’t even think about parking here. No parking when road is snow covered. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Product will be hot after heating. Do not iron clothes on body. Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine. Do not use while sleeping. Do not use on food. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. This page made from 100 percent recycled electrons.
No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. Void where prohibited, taxed or otherwise restricted. Provided “as-is” without warranty. Reader assumes full responsibility. We are an equal opportunity employer. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk.
Parental advisory — explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one per family please. No money down. No purchase necessary. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Keep cool. Process promptly. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
Sold by weight, not by volume. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. This website rated “R” for mature audiences. Do not take with alcohol. Sealed for your protection — do not use if safety seal is broken. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Use seatbelts even with airbags. Do not stop on railroad tracks. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Employees must wash hands before returning to work. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt…
Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, or other acts of God, neglect, damage from improper use, incorrect line voltage, unauthorized use, unauthorized repair, improper installation, typos, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, disk failure, accidental file deletions, mud slides, forest fire, hitting of a deer, milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking, or projectiles, which can include, but are not limited to, arrows, bullet shots, BBs, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.
This disclaimer may not be copied or reproduced in any form without the expressed written consent of whomever I stole it from.•