Like any of its Big Law rivals, Greenberg Traurig would love to be known as the Greatest of All Time. But the firm can make another boast that most other firms wouldn’t challenge: Paying a premium price for a prized goat.
The global legal giant forked over $15,000 for a “reserve grand champion goat” owned by 15-year-old Tara Hummel of Cabery, Illinois, according to a report by the High Plains/Midwest Ag Journal, which covered the recent National Western Stock Show in Denver.
Each year since 1906, the Denver-based Western Stock Show Association has put on the exhibition, which acts as a showcase to promote the classic Western lifestyle and the American agricultural industry.
Was the barnyard beast purchased on behalf of a client? Is Greenberg Traurig poised to implement a plan replacing associates and other personnel with low-cost legal goats? If so, how much will the goats charge per hour for their services?
What precautions will the firm take against the goats gobbling up client documents or butting heads with interoffice rivals?
Greenberg Traurig spokeswoman Julie Perry, presented with that high-priority list of questions about the firm’s entry into the animal acquisition space, unfortunately confirmed that it will not actually receive the goat it bought. Nor will it send the beast to law school. Instead, Greenberg Traurig has been a longtime sponsor of the National Western Scholarship Trust, which funds scholarships in agriculture and rural medicine at colleges throughout Colorado and Wyoming, Perry said in an email.
At the National Western Stock Show, where the teenage Hummel and her family appear to have a long track record of success when it comes to prize-winning goats, Greenberg Traurig did in fact submit a bid for the animal, a process that is somewhat akin to a corporate sponsorship, Perry said.
The firm spokeswoman noted that the money spent by Greenberg Traurig goes toward supporting junior exhibitors like Hummel, who then raise the award-winning animals as they plan for their agricultural future and college educations.
The average cost of purchasing your own domesticated goat ranges from roughly $75 to $300, depending on certain factors like breed, sex and—perhaps most importantly—temperament. (With a blizzard ravaging much of the northeastern U.S., one would be surprised at the volume of material on the internet available to those mulling the prospect of a goat acquisition. Pygmy and baby goats are cute, but beware the stench of a billy goat, as well as the bone-chilling screams of others.)
No goats were harmed in the reporting of this story.