What is that smell in the elevator? Sniff. Ahh — yup, that is what I thought: fresh meat. Young, ambitious, eager First-Year Cogs are piling into the mahogany and brass elevators of Big Firms across the country this time of year. The distinctive aroma of spanking-new, graduation-gift Coach leather briefcases mixed with the slight scent of cold, hard cash and anxiety gives them away.

Why am I speaking about them as if they are not here? So rude of me. Forgive me, Newbies. I mean, Baby Cogs. I mean, Cog Colleagues. Greetings! Welcome to the Jungle! I am here for you to provide some guidance for surviving in the wild — A Guide to the First 100 Days.