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At Corporate Counsel we toiled day and night to hone the questionnaire we sent out for our 2003 Quality Of Life Survey. In the process of creating this data-gathering tool, some questions inevitably fell by the wayside. We wanted to share our outtakes with you. 1) The legal department is: � An elite force viewed with equal parts respect, awe, and quasi-religious devotion � Treated as an integral part of The Team, equivalent to, say, the goalie (except with more teeth) � Consulted as a matter of course, but with the lack of enthusiasm many reserve for a visit to a coastal scrimshaw museum � Always picked last for the softball team at company outings � Routinely festooned with garlic by superstitious coworkers 2) How would you characterize your year-end bonus or other annual incentive? � End-of-year bonus is large enough to start shopping for a marina � Bonus is modest but sufficient to justify decision to attend law school � Small bonus, but I’m given the honor of doing shots with the CEO during the holiday party � Infinitesimal bonus, but allowed to take home leftovers from the holiday party � Bonus consists of “collectible” S & H Green Stamps 3) Your company’s e-mail and intranet systems: � Are roughly equivalent in sophistication to Bill Gates’s high-tech home � Do the job for which they were designed � Are slow and prone to crashing but exorcism usually restores them to full function � Harbor more viruses than the Centers for Disease Control labs � Consist of five poorly trained circus mice and an elderly stenographer 4) Where does your company stand on reimbursing business expenses? � Use of sedan chair and motorcycle outriders accepted as legitimate business expenses � Wine vintages prior to 1980 generally disallowed � Policy is sensible and fair � Company encourages frugality � BYO paper clips 5) In the past year, how much of your vacation time were you able to take? � Six weeks in the summer, all major holidays, some minor holidays, plus the week between Christmas and New Year’s. � Three weeks’ vacation, but business with foreign clients meant working most major holidays. � Unable to take all accrued vacation time, nonetheless managed several long weekends off, which I find more restful anyway. � Sundays are often entirely my own — as long as I don’t check my e-mail. � On December 24 I made it as far as O’Hare airport before being paged and asked to return to the office. When I said that I would be out of town for Christmas, I was told enigmatically that it “was not a holiday in Thailand.” 6) In the course of your job, have you ever wanted your outside counsel to be consumed by: � A growing obsession with your company’s business � A compulsion to return calls promptly � Abject guilt for overbilling � A wracking cough � Tigers 7) Tigers? Really? � Or any of the big cats � Or bears � Perhaps just the cough

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