A few months ago, 28-year-old associate Daisy Wong went to lunch at The American Club in Hong Kong with a partner who tried to convince her to join the local office of his New York-based firm. If she would only switch firms, he promised, he would “nurture” her for partnership.

“Nurture me for partnership,” she thought. “Where have I heard that before? Let me think, Oh yes, numerous times from my own superiors. No wonder I don’t feel a thing. It’s almost like a young mistress wondering when her married boyfriend will divorce his wife and marry her instead. But two, five, and 10 years pass and he never does.”

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