oments before every oral argument in the California Supreme Court, nervous attorneys sit anxiously in the courtroom, quietly wondering whether they'll woo the justices with marvelous oratory or wind up sputtering like Porky Pig.
It can be tense. But that's when court administrator and clerk Frederick "Fritz" Ohlrich shines -- putting the nail-biting crowd at ease with a lively speech about the history of the court and warning them about the no-nos of oral argument in a way that often has everyone chuckling. He even explains why all four male justices sit on one end of the bench while the three females sit on the opposite end. (It has to do with seniority.)
It's an entertaining spiel that varies little, whether being told in San Francisco, Los Angeles or Sacramento. And it cuts through the thick air very effectively.
At a session last week in S.F., Ohlrich, who's been with the court since February 2000, started by advising the lawyers to stand up and say "ready" when their names are called as arguments are about to commence. Say it, he said, even if you're not ready.
"The justices just want you to appear to be," he said, with a smirk.
Ohlrich also warned them to be responsive to the justices, not answer their questions with a question and prepare to be interrupted frequently.
"If you have a speech you've planned," he said, "I wish you the best -- in giving it in pieces."
Ohlrich hit his stride -- as always -- in telling the history of the court, something he obviously relishes. He noted that California's legal system, with more than 1,800 jurists, is now the "largest judicial system in the entire world" and related how the court itself ended up being based in San Francisco rather than the capital as in most states.
When legislators were trying to decide on a site for the court in the 1870s, Ohlrich said, S.F., L.A. and Sacramento were the three contenders. L.A., a growing agricultural community at the time, was deemed so hot that it might make the justices lazy, he recounted, while Sacramento flooded easily and was believed to have the highest murder rate in the country.
The only strike against San Francisco, Ohlrich said, was earthquakes.
Booze, it turns out, might have provided the answer. L.A. was reputed to have the best wine in California at the time, Ohlrich said, while S.F. had the best whisky, far superior to that of Sacramento.
"The whisky," he said with a flourish, "must have turned the tide." Smiles appeared around the room.
Ohlrich admittedly loves the Beaux Arts S.F. courtroom, especially since earthquake renovations got rid of an ugly drop ceiling and restored the grand skylight in the dome. But he's not too fond of the boxy, modernistic L.A. courtroom.
"It's my least favorite," he confided last week. "This courtroom," he said, gesturing around, "and the one in Sacramento have so much character. That one [in L.A.] is just a courtroom."
Ohlrich said Friday that his pre-argument talks began at his first session on Feb. 8, 2000, when the Supreme Court was celebrating its 150th anniversary at the old Supreme Court building in Old Sacramento. Ohlrich's interest in the court's rich history was sparked by a number of speakers that day and a tradition was born.
"I think it's important for people to understand a little bit about the history and the background of the court," he said. "This doesn't have to be painful."
At least until the arguments begin.
