One of the reasons women seem to hit a wall in their careers goes back to a word they’ve heard consistently since elementary school: bossy.

There’s something visceral about that word. It’s everything a little girl shouldn’t be, and her friends, parents and teachers all scolded her when they perceived she was being “bossy.” Flash forward 10 years, and either the bossy girl is student council president, head of the lacrosse team and yearbook editor, or she took the criticisms to heart and crawled back into her shell.