| Lawyers are a diverse bunch, but one thing they all seem to have in common is a love for the sound of their own voices. This is not just a Big Law thing—it is lawyer thing.
The most satisfying outlet for indulging in this love is with a captive audience at meetings of all shapes and sizes—like conferences, conference calls, seminars, round-tables, panels and committees.
Talk is not cheap
Lawyers especially love meetings where they get paid to share their wisdom with clients and colleagues in six-minute increments. The billable conference call is a perfect example of this phenomenon.
A hypothetical: MegaCorp is considering acquiring a subsidiary of Giant Corp. Such a significant event requires the assistance of at least two sets of in-house counsel, plus at least three sets of outside Big Law lawyers—one Big Law partner representing the interests of each parent company plus one for the subsidiary. Each of the main lawyers on the call also needs an underling associate involved on the call to take notes and be prepared to handle any non-talking work derived from the call. In our hypothetical, this brings our total lawyer count to roughly nine.
Before a call of this magnitude can even begin, the legal assistants (who also bill by the hour) for the underlings and partners must coordinate a time when everyone is available for the call. “Mr. Big Time Partner is unavailable until tomorrow after 5 p.m. He is speaking at a Board of Directors meeting in
Once the brain trust is finally assembled for the call, the fun begins:
Partner A: “This is counsel for MegaCorp. We initiated this call to make sure we are all on the same page with the initial draft of the purchase agreement … [insert 10-minute monologue].”
All lawyers on the call feel compelled to “add value” to the conversation. Maybe this springs from a noble motive: “My client is paying for me to be on this call, by golly, so I will contribute and protect their interests!” Or maybe it is just pride: “I cannot believe
Partner A talked for 10 minutes—he has this all wrong, I will add some clarity to the situation.”
Partner B: “Thanks, Partner A. We appreciate that, and on behalf of Giant Corp., we want to drill down on a few points … [insert 12-minute monologue].”
After about an hour and approximately $2,500 in outside legal fees, the call is concluded with plans to schedule a follow-up call and then an in-person meeting. And on to the next meeting. …
The non-billable meeting
The worst meetings in Big Law are the non-billable meetings. These include meetings with your “team” or “group.” You would think that because Big Law depends on lawyers billing time, the firm leaders who called such non-billable meetings would want to keep them brief, focused and productive.
You would be wrong.
I think because many Big Law lawyers do not get to indulge their love of being heard as often as they would like, they take every opportunity to expand, espouse and share their ideas—even when such sharing is not billable and is literally costing the firm money.
A perfect example: the real estate team calls a monthly meeting to go over business development strategy. Each partner is asked to speak about his/her current clients and potential areas for more work. It is a shame for us all that law schools do not offer a course on “Efficient Speaking 101.”
Lawyers who had taken that entry-level course in brevity might say something like this: “I am in the process of finalizing a set of leases for Builder Corp. and am hoping to get more work for Construction Giant next quarter as they seek to acquire some property in
Boom—everything you needed to say in less than 1 minute. Next?
Nope. It is more like this: “Well, about three months ago … let me see, was it July 3rd or July 17th? Yeah, on the 17th, we had an initial meeting with Builder Corp. about these leases in the 52nd block of Midtown for a seven-story complex with a modern architectural style and a large parking deck. Then a few days later at 2:30 p.m. we got a call from Tenant who is a fashion design firm—they work mainly with synthetic materials and bright colors. Anyway … [insert 10-minute monologue full of irrelevant details].”
Lawyers cannot help themselves. As each person speaks for longer than necessary, the other lawyers think this entitles them to speak at least as long. These meetings cause me physical pain.
CLE = Continuing Listening Endeavor
Although most lawyers love meetings where they get to speak, they do not like to waste time on meetings where others get to indulge in speaking—and they have to listen. Ugh.
For this reason, most state bars make Continuing Legal Education (CLE) mandatory.
“We know you think you know everything, lawyers. But you must sit and listen to other lawyers talk at you for a set number of hours to ensure your continued professional development.”
Entire companies have formed to capitalize on lawyers' love of speaking to a crowd. The CLE industry is brilliant. Lawyers will volunteer to speak at these things for FREE. The company hosting the “Developments in Immigration Law” seminar can then charge other lawyers $800 to attend two days of conferencing and panels. Lawyers pay to attend because they have to get their CLE credits, and they hope by attending they can work their way on next year's panel by asking excellent and long-winded questions from the audience.
Stop the madness!
A self-check test to see if your love for talking is hurting others:
• Do you hear someone ask a question at a CLE that you were about to ask, but yet ask the same question anyway because you had your hand up first?
• Do you ignore what others are saying on a conference call because you are thinking about what you will say next?
• Do you start sentences with “I think someone already mentioned this, but …” or “I just want to reiterate”?
• Do you get excited about the idea of finally getting to share your detailed client stories with colleagues during meetings because your spouse has banned all “lawyer talk” in the house?
Stop it now. If you haven't figured this out yet, let me be the first to tell you: Especially in this economy, time is money, and wasting time is losing money.
Remember, talk is cheap only if you don't have an Esq. behind your name.
