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So you're a survivor. The recent Great Purge of law firm personnel passed you by, and you still have a paycheck, a current business card and an office to go to every morning. You should be elated, right?
Well, if you're not, I understand. Many of us Cogs who managed to hold onto our jobs are suffering from survivor's guilt.
We're either anxious because we are left to shoulder the work of those who have departed or because, even though our ranks were significantly thinned, we are still not as busy as we know the Firm wants and expects us to be.
And some of us also feel guilty that our inability to bill more hours has caused partners to sell their lake homes—at deep discounts, no less—and forced some of our colleagues out the door and into the non-existent job market.
OK, maybe we don't feel guilty about losing all of our colleagues. A few really were dead weight. But most were just as smart and hard-working as those of us who survived—they just had the unfortunate fate of choosing to specialize in some random area that currently generates no work for the firm.
Linking and lunching
Back in the good ole days, when Cogs left the Firm it was because they chose to go in house or become an investment banker or a chocolatier. Even if they were asked to leave, the Big Law entry on the résumé allowed them to move on to bigger and better things. These days conversations with involuntarily ex-Cogs who have not yet found employment are awkward and guilt-ridden—and usually start with an e-mail or a LinkedIn invitation something like this:
Purged Cog to Current Cog: “Hi Cog #432. How are you? Are you keeping busy? I hope all is well with you and the family and that the Firm is treating you well. We must do lunch soon. I am free any day this week, or next … the following week looks wide open as well. Just let me know what works with your schedule. We have to catch up!”
How do you respond to this inquiry? If you never knew them and they are just trying to build their “network” and are misguided enough to think that your little insignificant Cog-self can help them get a gig somewhere, then why not just appease them by linking-in and grabbing a quick bite one day when you get a chance? If the former Cog actually was a good friend of yours during their tenure at Big Law, you of course go to lunch as soon as you can.
Once you have a lunch scheduled you must be careful about the conversation. You cannot complain about work like you did when you were colleagues. Avoid topics such as: “I can't believe they slashed our salaries again,” or “I had to give up the Firm's seats to the Falcons game last week because I was working on a brief.” You will just look like an ungrateful spoiled little child.
But you also can't be too positive about work or they will just think you are bragging and rubbing in it. You will want to steer clear of things such as: “After the purge, I was staffed on some of the best work we have and got to spend a month at the Ritz-Carlton in London—with no weekend work!” or “I just landed a new client for the Firm and feel confident about partnership this year.”
Nope. Well, and honestly, you shouldn't feel confident about partnership this year no matter who you are. Where have you been?
Better just to play it safe and talk about sports or kids or flooding. Unless that leads to talk of flood damage and denied insurance claims and no income in which case you are headed to complete guilt-land. Next thing you know you will be offering to help re-carpet the living room. Maybe you should avoid any talk of bad weather. Oh, and if you talk about sports you must not mention you watched the game from the sidelines with the Firm's Titanium Ticket package. Pretend you saw it on TV like most people. And when you discuss the kids—skip the part about them attending hiking camp in the Swiss Alps. Dang it—maybe no topic is safe. You could skip lunch and go watch college football together while drinking heavily. Maybe then if you say something stupid no one will remember!
Status updates
Whatever you do, there will be guilt. You will want to pay for lunch or drinks because you are still employed, but that could be insulting. But if you don't offer, that could be seen as rude and greedy. Even if you skip lunch and just work from your desk—guilt will set in when you check Facebook. There you see the smiling faces of unemployed former Cogs updating you on their job hunt: “One more interview done—wish me luck!” or “Who wants to work for the government anyway? Forget them!” “Anyone have any contacts at Home Depot?”
All we can do is be supportive, wish them luck and try not to feel too guilty. I mean, it's not like we have any control over what happens to ourselves at Big Law, much less our co-workers. We honor them by staying employed, because if we get laid off too, then that just creates more competition for the few jobs out there.
Besides, not all of the laid-off Cogs are unemployed. Many have managed to—despite the odds—land that in-house gig or open their own firms. Cheers to them, no need for guilt! Be sure to get LinkedIn and to comment positively on their Facebook status.
After all, you may need business from them to keep your own job.
Survivor's guilt
Tread softly with laid-off Cogs; don't mention the good, the bad or the weather
September 30, 2009
