Only a fool or a saint would marry a lawyer. We tend to be argumentative, rule-oriented, competitive and stressed out, hardly the makings of an easy mate. The maxim is twice as true when applied to solo practitioners. We are a colorful lot; however, the solitary nature of our work can make us even more closed-off than other lawyers, while our lack of professional support can make us even more needy. If we were easy to work with, we'd probably have law partners.

This column is not written just for solos. It is written for those brave souls who have, by foolishness or faith, hitched themselves to a solo or are considering it. Perhaps it might be left on a nightstand for a spouse/significant other (SSO) to find, or next to the coffee pot in the morning. Consider it an introductory "how to" manual, a summary guide to the care and feeding of that difficult bird: the solo practitioner.

1. Financial support: SSOs of solos should expect to be leaned upon. Most solos depend financially on their spouse or significant other more than other lawyers. This is especially true in the early stages of a solo practice, when a client base or practice niche is being developed. I didn't draw a paycheck for six months when I started my office, during which time my wife and I lived largely off her income and a loan from her family. I couldn't have done it without her.

Even after the business is up and running, a solo usually needs the steadying influence of a second income. The feast-or-famine cycle of any business is especially acute when there is only one person in the business generating income. An appendicitis or two weeks in a losing trial can wreak havoc on cash flow. An SSO's income will help steady the ship -- and help cover the ship's bills -- when that happens.

An SSO also will probably carry the solo's health insurance. Solos can find insurance through professional associations or private brokers, but it will probably cover less and cost more than insurance provided by the typical employer. It's no coincidence that a large percentage of solos (especially those with young children) are married to teachers.

2. Social support: It is up to the SSO to keep the solo socialized. He or she works alone, often half-buried in papers and bathed in the glow of a computer monitor, oblivious to other people. Inevitably, the SSO becomes the solo's emissary of the outside world.

SSOs are solos' best sounding boards; they listen to business proposals, case summaries and closing arguments, so they should consider them carefully and be honest when giving their thoughts. Gentle, but honest. It's easy for a solo to start "breathing his own fumes," imagining that every cause is righteous and every argument is rock solid. If that's true, the SSO should say so, but if not, say that as well. It's better to point out a false premise or too-cute remark in private than have it make its way into a final presentation.

SSOs should plan to get their solos out and about once in a while. Between the legal work and the business operations, a solo practice can expand like an accordion to fill whatever time it's given. That's as hard on relationships as it is for the cardiovascular system. SSOs must force their solos, by hook or by crook, to get away from the office and enjoy life. They must help their solos make time for family, friends and themselves. Solos will resist, so SSOs must persist and emphasize that human interaction is not a luxury, it is essential maintenance for the solo machine.

3. Mental health support: Solos who have seen pictures of Philippe Petit walking a high wire between the twin towers of the World Trade Center in 1974 have a sense of how he must have felt: alone, buffeted by perilous winds, without a net to catch you if you fall. The stress of a small practice is relentless. Solos generally alternate between worrying about finding work and worrying about how to finish all the work they have.

An SSO provides the solo's first line of defense against stress-related mental health issues and helps keep the inevitable highs and lows in perspective. SSOs should encourage a long-range view of finances and personal matters; remind solos that perfection is not required; and repeat the obvious -- that if solo practice were easy, almost everyone would do it.

If substantial problems arise, it is the SSO's job to get help. With no peers in the office, an SSO will see a solo's issues before anyone else. For example, the State Bar of Texas provides a first step. Specifically, the Texas Lawyers' Assistance Program has been established as a confidential resource for lawyers wrestling with issues such as alcohol and substance abuse, gambling, sex addiction, depression and thoughts of suicide. The program provides self-assessment tests, crisis counseling and referrals, access to support groups and financial support for lawyers in crisis.

Though not as cuddly as a kitten, with a little care and grooming from their spouses and significant others, solos might just bring joy and companionship to a relationship for many years to come. Solos owe their SSOs their undying thanks for all they do.

Paul Schorn is a solo practitioner with offices in Lockhart and Austin, Texas.

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