Ann Israel is the legal profession's Dear Abby. A New York legal recruiter since 1979, Ann is a past president of the National Association of Legal Search Consultants. Advice for the Lawlorn is updated every Tuesday.

Q:Contrary to most of the questions you get, I now have a very positive situation at my firm, thanks to a couple of partners who really helped me in a difficult work situation with a third partner. It seems really rare to find a partner (let alone two) in a large law firm who will go out of his/her way to help out an associate, especially in dealing with another partner, so I feel like I should do something to show my appreciation (though I fully recognize that their helping me is not completely altruistic, as I do a lot of work for them/their clients who regard me very highly, and the situation with the third partner was starting to distract me from that work).

What is appropriate in the situation?

I, of course, thanked them verbally. Is that enough? Would a written thank-you note be appropriate? Or a thank-you gift (and if so, what kind)? I thought about inviting the partners and their spouses to dinner at my house, but, while I'm really grateful to them, I'm not sure I'm comfortable hosting to them in my own home.

Grateful

Dear Grateful: I must say that it is refreshing to receive a question from someone who is happy with his or her dealings with partners. In this world of so many unhappy lawyers, it is comforting to know that there are still attorneys out there who care about their associates and the general morale of a firm.

I don't think it is necessary to go out and buy presents for these partners at this time. After all, as you said, you do work for these partners and their clients, and protecting you from a difficult partner also helped to make sure that you didn't quit your job -- probably something that they could ill-afford to have happen.

You thanked them verbally, and so I don't think you need to write a thank-you note to both of them; a written note seems a bit formal and out of place in this situation.

You might want to wait for the holidays -- and they are just around the corner -- to give them each a token of your appreciation. Perhaps a bottle of a wonderful wine or their favorite liquor would be an appropriate gift if they drink. If alcohol is not appropriate, you might want to buy a beautiful coffee-table book relating to a subject that is of interest to each of these partners.

If you are uncomfortable hosting a dinner in your home for two partners and their spouses (and that is certainly understandable), why not invite them all out to a great restaurant for a special dinner? And a "great" restaurant doesn't necessarily have to be one that costs $400 per person but, rather, one that provides a memorable evening for all of you. The best way to offer up this type of experience is to speak with each of their secretaries or assistants and ask for their favorite restaurants or types of food and then choose your restaurant from what the assistants have told you.

In the final analysis, because you are even thinking about whether or not you have expressed enough thanks to these two partners, you probably have already done more than your share. I suspect they know how grateful you are for rescuing you out of a difficult spot. The best gift you can give to them is to continuing doing the great job you have been doing for them. Anything else you give to them is so unnecessary -- and so very thoughtful, considerate, lovely and why do I think so very typical of you?! You sound like a winner and deserve whatever good things these partners did for you. Best wishes!

Sincerely,
Ann Israel
President, Ann Israel & Associates