The current economic crisis has added yet another awkward social situation to life at Big Law: How do you interact with the recently -- or soon-to-be -- laid-off lawyer or staffer?

Mind you, these awkward interactions aren't limited to those who work at Big Law. They can happen at small firms in the suburbs, too, at in-house law departments, even in the polished halls of government where job security used to be a given.

The fact is, you never know when you might run into a riffed lawyer, and you need to be prepared for the ensuing and inevitable conversation that follows.

BEWARE THE ELEVATOR

The first challenge is to recognize when you have stumbled upon this social situation. Given all the stealth layoffs, you may not even realize that two out of the six people on your morning elevator ride have been given a week to clean out their offices and change their outgoing voicemail messages.

Because you never know who has been axed, you may want to avoid some of the usual elevator small talk. For example, the seemingly innocuous "Hi, how are you?" could catapult you to a world of trouble. Some possible -- even likely -- responses to this question prove my point:

• "Well, my husband still has his job -- for now -- so I am OK. After working for annoying, high-strung lawyers for more than 20 years, I suppose I can find some joy in forced early retirement. If only my 401(k) weren't down 56 percent."

• "How am I? Oh, I suppose you haven't heard that am on 'the list?' Well, I am. So there. Is that what you wanted to know? Did you want to make me say it? Fine. I said it. Now leave me alone."

• "I am great -- but sorry to hear about you. That was so wrong. You were always one of my favorites."

My advice is to stay away from throwing out any questions to your fellow elevator riders that could elicit any response at all. Stick with "Good morning," "Good afternoon" and "Good night," and hope that no one contradicts you.

But if your habit of saying "How's it going?" cannot be stopped and you find yourself in the middle of one of the above conversations, I recommend that you not make matters worse. Avoid any response remotely resembling the following:

• "Yeah, it is rough out there. I am so grateful to be the daughter of the CEO of one of our largest -- and most solvent -- clients. Whew. Takes a lot of the pressure off."

• "Oh, so you are on 'the list?' Does that mean you have seen it? Am I on it, too?"

• "Well, at least you don't have to bill any more hours!"

• "Well, at least you don't have to make that long commute after today!"

• "Stop crying. I was canned too and have more debt than the U.S. budget. And I was the sole bread winner."

COFFEE TALK

As painful as the elevator conversation may be, at least it is going to be limited in duration. The most awkward conversations are the ones in places with no defined time limit -- the office drop-by, the hall stop, the coffee refill in the break room; or -- worse yet -- the grocery store or gym or some other off-site spot where you think you are safe from tales of woe.

But if you're caught in one of these conversations -- maybe you'll even initiate one because you were just laid off and you want to tell some people personally, or because you just heard someone was laid off and you want to offer your sympathy personally -- be aware that the other participant in this conversation may not share your desire to discuss this awkward topic. Alternatively, your acquaintance may just be suffering from the freaked-out state of mind that causes us all to be awkward in most conversations these days.

One of the stickiest aspects of this entire deal is whether to admit you know someone has been laid off or fired. If a recently released Cog strolls into your office to transfer the file she was working on and says, "I am not sure if you heard, but I was let go," you have a wide variety of responses from which to choose:

• "No! I had no idea. That is crazy. You are awesome, and they are insane to lose such a fine lawyer."

• "Yes. I did hear that. I was hoping it was just a nasty rumor. I am so sorry. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. You will be missed."

• "No, I had not heard that, but I can't say I'm surprised. You never really seemed into this gig anyway."

• "Yeah , I heard. You're the third former Cog to come and dump their work on me today. I suppose it's worse to be you, but this is no fun for me either."

Obviously, some version of the first two options is the best bet for an appropriate response.

If you are on the receiving end of any version of either of the last two responses, however, blame it on the stress of the current environment and try not to hit the idiot who failed to be sensitive to your situation. Or heck, you're done anyway, might as well pop that guy in the chin like you have wanted to do for years. Those who remain will be forever grateful, and you will become a legend.

If you run into a recently laid-off co-worker who does not mention the layoff, it is best not to bring it up. Maybe he is hoping no one knows; maybe he wants to enjoy the last few days pretending it isn't true. Or maybe you got the name wrong and the poor chump in the break room with you still has his job and is wondering why you are giving him this pathetic sympathy look and letting him have the last swig of coffee.

In conversations with the recently laid off, you also may be tempted or compelled by the awkwardness to offer some sort of words of wisdom, such as: "Everything happens for a reason," "This could be a great opportunity" or "You will go far."

Please, please don't. These are all silly, meaningless sayings that could cause your chin to get clocked. Beware.

One way to avoid a blow to the noggin is to do what most people seem to be doing: bringing their own coffee, taking the stairs, reading their e-mails on the elevator and avoiding these interactions altogether ... while hoping it will all end soon. Still awkward, but with less risk of injury.

For the record, I think I speak for most "waiting-to-be-laid-off" Cogs and Big Law employees when I say to those of you who have preceded us out the door, we sincerely hope that everything will work out for you. And if you see us in the produce aisle and notice we're at a loss for words, please know we're just feeling awkward -- and, maybe, a little afraid.

Do you have dirt to dish? Do you have a column idea? Or do you just need to vent in six-minute increments? Email the Snark at snarkatlanta@yahoo.com.