Ann Israel is the legal profession's Dear Abby. A New York legal recruiter since 1979, Ann is a past president of the National Association of Legal Search Consultants. Advice for the Lawlorn is updated every week.

Q: I am a fourth-year associate at a Biglaw firm. I recently traveled out of town with a senior, well-respected partner at my firm to conduct depositions for a case I am working on with her. We had a few drinks with the client after the deposition and then a last drink in the bar, just the two of us. Then the partner tried to get me to come back to her room for a nightcap. I made an excuse, but what do I do the next time? Is this every guy's dream, or am I being sexually harassed?

Dear Dreaming: Well, I really don't know what to make of this one. I can't say if this is every guy's dream or the beginning of a true nightmare.

First of all, before we go anywhere else with this, if this "well-respected" partner really was hitting on you, and I have no reason to doubt what you are telling us, you did absolutely the right thing by making an excuse and extricating yourself from what, certainly, would have been a bad situation, sooner or later. The chances that a senior partner at a Biglaw firm is going to end up permanently involved with someone who is right now a fourth-year associate are not even slim to none. I don't see any positive notes being played out of an affair with her, much less a one-nighter. And to start something that might have tones on other trips out of town is probably not a song you want to keep singing, is it?

Now, I have to say, this could have been a case of sexual harassment. Just because the roles were reversed doesn't mean the law wasn't broken. Did you ever see the movie "Disclosure" with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore?

Frankly, I think you have narrowly avoided a very messy situation, but if this big-shot partner has a thing for you, I suspect you will be faced with this same set of circumstances the next time you travel out of town together. And the last thing you want to do is anger a senior partner.

So, what are your options?

You can hope that you are kept very busy on other partners' litigations for the rest of your life.

If the situation does present itself again (and it probably will), you can let her know how flattered you are but you want to keep your relationship with her at a professional level.

You can sue her and the firm for sexual harassment (you might want to speak with human resources, prior to doing this).

You can dig up your resume and move to another law firm before you have to take another trip with this partner.

You can have a wild fling with her and see what happens (really a bad idea).

You could confront her head-on and tell her that you are very disappointed in her and you don't expect this kind of thing to ever happen again -- EVER (again, a really bad idea).

You could enroll in medical school.

Listen, I really don't know where to go with this. As I wrote above, you did the right thing by excusing yourself when she asked you to come up to her room (hopefully, you did nothing to encourage this behavior). Now, you need to make sure your intentions are very clear that you want your relationship with her to be very professional and only very professional.

I appeal to all of my brilliant readers out there who have been so very generous with their advice in the past -- has this ever happened to any of you? What did you do? What is your counsel for our dreaming friend here?

Sincerely,
Ann Israel
President, Ann Israel & Associates