I am pandering to the masses. Somewhat to my surprise, of all the columns that I have written over the past two years, Random Thoughts For 2013™ generated the most comments from my readers — although, to be accurate, the vast majority of those concerned one particular Random Thought (I’ll let you guess which one). And so, back by popular demand, More Random Thoughts™:

• When lawyers say, “With all due respect, Your Honor,” most judges hear, “I’ll feign deference to your idiotic opinion, Your Honor, because you wear the robes.”

• During my first court appearance as a newly-minted member of the bar, I got a default judgment in a summary process case against a woman in her early 60s because she did not show up for court. It turned out that she missed the hearing because she was receiving chemotherapy. And they say the law isn’t a fulfilling profession …

• Blue suit/white shirt > powdered wig/black muumuu. Thank god we revolted in 1776!

• The all-time, top seven Law & Order characters, in ascending order of brilliance: 7) Ray Curtis 6) Paul Robinette 5) Ben Stone 4) Anita Van Buren 3) Mike Logan 2) Lenny Briscoe 1) Adam Schiff (one of the funniest moments of the series is when Schiff learns that the ACLU has filed a request for a TRO on behalf of a defendant and sputters, “ACL — oh boy …”). Oh, and — with apologies to Sam Waterston, who is a great actor — Jack McCoy gets a Lifetime Achievement Award for Character Who Consistently Makes Me Want to Punch Him in the Face Due to His Vomit-Inducing Self-Righteousness.

• I get a peverse perverse sense of pleasure when I drive to work in the morning and the top half of my office building is shrouded in fog.

• “Perverse” is a very easy word to misspell, as it turns out.

• What is it that we in Connecticut know about the false promises of MCLE that lawyers in 46 other states do not? While you ponder that, here are a few professions for which licensure in Connecticut does require periodic continuing education: dental hygienists, embalmers (to paraphrase Dennis Miller, what’s the worst that could happen if you screw up as an embalmer? Maybe you get a pulse?), occupational therapist assistant, water operators (don’t ask me what they do), plumbers and masseuses.

• David Borden should have his portrait hung in the Supreme Court alongside the other chief justices. Interim, schminterim — he kept the Court on course during one of the most difficult periods in its history.

• Lawyers probably enjoyed being lawyers more before email and smartphones.

• I have an Oral Argument Practice Stick in my office. (It’s actually a random piece of pressboard that came loose from the front of a prefab desk.) When I am preparing for an argument, I often stroll around the office, twirling and swinging the stick while I mutter under my breath. I’m … not crazy.

Bowman v. Monsanto (a/k/a, the soybean patent case) is proof that not one of those nine wise souls in Washington has the first clue how a farm actually works.

• Words that I’d love to use in a brief someday, but likely will never have the chance to: “obsequious,” “prevaricate,” “tromboner” (to satisfy my Simpsons nerditude), “dunce,” “masticate,” “byss” (it’s the opposite of “abyss,” I swear), “juju,” “muumuu,” “anti-disestablishmentarianism,” and “thud”.

• Who would have guessed that President Barack Obama would move to the right of George W. Bush on civil liberties? Who knew, for that matter, that there was room to the right of George W. Bush on civil liberties (unless he happened to be standing to the left of Saudi Arabia or North Korea)?

• Second book supplements epitomize the law of diminishing returns.

• I argued my 40th appeal this month. I think I’ve improved as an appellate lawyer over the course of those 40 arguments, but I still haven’t learned to separate the quality of my performance from the result of the appeal. I’m with Eddie Dodd (James Woods in True Believer) on this one — a good fight is the one you win.•